Why do people insist on being total pricks? Really I don’t understand it at all. How does one wake up one day and decide that pompous is exactly what they want to be on that particular day?
Needless to say I work with lots of assholes. Am I a porn star? No. So if my chosen profession is not one of the following I don’t need to deal with Pricks and Assholes.
A) Fluffer: A fluffer is a hired member of the crew of a pornographic movie whose role on the set is to sexually arouse the male participants prior to the filming of scenes requiring erections. (Thank you Wiki)
B) Crackhead: That’s right; I don’t suck cock for money to buy my drugs. Has the thought passed my mind? I’m not telling. I’m just saying its not something I do (anymore) so I don’t need to deal with the amazing amounts of dicks I get on a day to day basis.
C) Phone Sex Operator: Although I am one sexy bitch over the phone I don’t charge people to get down and dirty via land-line.
D) Politician: I don’t have people tickling my taint just so I can do shit for them. I can not turn the tides of change. I cant rouse any sort of reform. I’m just an angry lil Mexican who’s lost his way in the world and lets face it, our standards aren’t that great anyhow. So please stop blowing smoke up my ass. Examples? I got em right here bitch…
D-1 Don’t call me buddy if you’ve never met me. For that matter don’t call me buddy ever unless your twice my age and have been sexually molesting me since I was 8 or so (in which case where the fuck is my candy?).
D-2 Don’t tell me your coming into the office to bring me food I don’t need. Have you seen me lately? It’s not fucking pretty.
D-3 For the love of all that is Holy do not under any circumstances try to relate to me if you and I have never done any of the following.
-D-1 v 3.2 Fucked.
-D-1 v 3.3 That’s it.
-D-4 I had something great to say just now, but I took a phone call and some weenie just called me and said “Hey buddy, I’m stopping by with some pastries for you guys. Go Raiders!” (I don’t even like sports.)
E) Toilet Paper: “Oh no he di int!” Oh yes I did. It’s not my job to wipe your ass so don’t assume that I am going to.
That’s it I’m out.
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