Random Reasons I Hate You Or Someone You Know (Part 2-The Return Of Mr. Asshat)

You are miserable. I understand that on every level.

I really do.

So, if I work with you and your the type that complains about everything I can understand. You come to work and you can talk all you want and not have to deal with anyone in your personal life ever hearing about it. I may not like having to sit next to you but at least I understand the dynammic we have. That is, you are a bitch and I am not.

Cool.

The thing is, dont take your misery with you everywehere. I do my best not to.

There are several things I put into the category of "Shit I Dont Need To Hear"

Shit I Dont Need To Hear

-Racism
-Sexism
-Homophobia (I think there should be a new word. Phobia dictates someone is afraid of something, and what we know as Homophobia is really more of a hate isnt it? Maybe its just me. From now I'll call it "Get Your Dick Away From My Assism)

I wont go into the particulars but if you excercise any one of these actively there is a VERY good chance I dont like you. Its nothing personal. Its just that I have accepted that you and I are different and I am better off not getting to know you.

I will be cool with you though. I'll say hello. I'll ask how you are. I will make the effort to be as freindly as I can be. Really. I think more people should try this. Please dont think I mean to be fake because thats not what I am about. I just give people the benefit of the doubt and hell, maybe my feelings will change. You never know.

Where was I?

Ah...

I'm at my Company Holiday Party and I get along with most of my co workers. The ones in my department I actually like. We are all mostly the same age even though we are all very different we really like each other.

Cept this one dude.

He's Mr. Racist.

He's Mr. "Eew what are you eating!?"

He's in his 50's and he cries and whines constantly.

You've all read the blog. He's a dick. He hates you because your either Black, Gay, Female, etc. UNLESS your betting on football. If your betting cold hard cash on American Football he likes you. He'll even have you over his place for beer and a game then when you leave he'll complain that you did something too much like what or who you are, whatever that is.

I dont humor him and leave him be. He complains and bitches and thats fine. For some reason he shows up to the Holiday Party though. Why? Didnt anyone tell him that WE are gonna be there.

When I say WE I mean. Us. The other people in the office. We are a motley bunch. One of us is a new father (Me), one of us is a mother (not me), a gay woman (also not me), a gay man (not me again, though some of you just wont listen). Some of us are Black (not me, but I am trying) Asian (Do I have to be Asian to be a Ninja? I am a Ninja you know) and so on.

The holiday party is fun. I am having fun. I mean, there is TONS of free booze and food. We are laughing it up. Then I see him. Now, take into consideration ALL OF THE ABOVE you just read.

I go up.

Zombs-Hey man how's it?

(I extend my hand but he ignores it)

Asshat-Eh. This party blows man.

Zombs- Yeah, typical holiday party though. You drinking?

Asshat- I shouldnt. I think I'll leave before it starts I fucking hate this

-Silence-

Zombs-Well man, we'll be over here for a bit. Join us dude dont be a stranger.

Asshat-Yeah man.

Then he walks downstairs.

You know what? Stay home. Dont bring down my party. Damn it there is Freakin Fosters on tap like sweet Mana from Heaven. Its like the Good Lord Himself came down and turned all the water to wine for me this one night. I mean, there is steak and chicken and Rice Pilaf.

I requested Spanish Rock form the DJ just because I could and you know what? HE FUCKING PLAYED IT. Jeez I dont even know Spanish!

I know its just a stupid holiday party but I am not one to have a crappy time just because I may not like where I am. I am gonna have some fun.

It was sweet. I drank loads, my girlfriend got shit-faced, we all made horrible self depricating jokes about ourselves and woke up the next day with hangovers.

Keep your opinions "Mr. I-Live-With-My-Cat-And-My-Meth-Addicted-Girlfriend."

A great man once said...

"Fuck you Mr. Asshat, I hate you"

Wait no, that was just me.